Months ago, in a bleary haze,
In a late-night/early-morning daddy daze,
I saw a cake on a cake website,
And felt that I had seen the light.
It appeared like a cloud, like an angel at dawn,
Billowing coconut, cream, and chiffon.
Someday I shall make it, I said to myself,
And I filed it away on my mind's dusty shelf.
Until the day came, 'twas a hot one in August,
Goddammit there's nothing that rhymes with you, August!
I embarked on a fabulous cake-making quest,
And I thought to myself, Jordan, surely, you jest!
You don't even really like coconut, do you?
So why are the coconut gods speaking through you?
And I said to myself, self, somethings can't be explained,
Just let it happen, don't be such a pain.
Don't be a skeptic, a cynic, a grouch!
Just shake some more coconut out of that pouch!
Stick to the recipe, don't embrace innovation,
Don't get in the way of divine revelation!
So I stacked my fair sponges, with filling be-twixt,
I spackled and smeared, the rough edges I fixed.
I assembled a tower and it leaned not a smidge!
And I left it to chill overnight in the fridge.
In the morning I woke and went back to the kitchen,
Without any hesitance, meekness, or bitchin'.
Determined to execute baking perfection,
I bravely continued to mold my confection.
With an ever-so-delicate flick of my wrist,
The top of my cake, the rich frosting did kiss!
It went on like a dream, like a gossamer frock,
And I prayed I'd not clumsily down my cake knock.
Once the fair frosting foundation was laid,
(as smoothly as our local streets have been paved),
I knew it was time for the final component.
The ultimate, sugary coconut moment.
Then magically, there it was, shaggy and grand,
Like a creature I'd summoned from coconut land.
To eat it, I suddenly didn't feel ready,
Looking seemingly fit for a wedding of yeti.
What had I wrought, out of flour and eggs?
A sentient beast? With a question to beg?
I'd toiled, I'd sweat, said "why, god?" and "tarnation!",
And now I'm supposed to devour my creation?
I said to myself, no I shan't, I refuse!
To let go, my sweet cake, you, I can't bear to lose!
From the heavens you came, and I thought, wait, what if?
You could live as an infinite internet gif?!
Our neighbor gave us the world's largest zucchini the other day. How big, you ask?
Since someone is almost 10 months old, aka an excuse to make cupcakes, I wondered if such a thing exists as zucchini cupcakes. Yes, indeed! I found a recipe. I was intrigued by the pairing with "creamy caramel frosting". I vowed to follow the recipe as closely as possible. I also began to chant "zucchini cupcake" over and over in a highly charicatured French accent, which helps draw out the full summer vegetable flavor of these delightful cakes.
These turned out really good, I'd say (humbly, of course)! I cut the sugar in the cakes down to 1 cup and only added about 1 cup of confectioner's sugar to the frosting mix, but they still came out quite sweet. The recipe calls for 1 tsp almond extract and 1/2 tsp ground cloves. Surely, I thought to myself, that is waaaay too much almond extract and not enough cloves, so I added ~0.75 tsp almond extract and a heaping 1/2 tsp of cloves. That is, I didn't honor my vow. And I should have remained true to the recipe, since the cakes had only the barest, tantilizing trace of almond extract, which was just slightly overpowered by clove. It's almost as if the person who wrote this recipe, i.e. Virginia Lapierre of Greensboro Bend, Vermont, knows her way around a cupcake.
I would totally make these again! They have a festive, holiday vibe. Perhaps I'll shred-'n'-freeze the rest of that zucchini and save for Xmas!
We had lots of eggs, a few lemons, and some cornstarch lying around... and I am so into meringues right now, so I decided to make a lemon meringue pie. I found a recipe. In the comments, someone mentioned making this with a graham cracker crust, and I thought to myself, "yes". I found these instructions. Luckily, someone in this house makes sure that we are never short on graham crackers.
This turned out... ok. I cut the sugar in the lemon filling by half but it was still really sweet. I think I would cut the sugar even more and also cut the sugar in the crust and the meringue. I wouldn't want to be accused of being too sweet!