Note how I didn't title this project, "a wry twist of rye". Impressive restraint, I know.
When we go out to "brunch", I usually choose rye toast, a generally unpopular choice, n = my husband, who likes to use me as a way to sample more foods than he can reasonably order on his own. If we are at a new establishment, I will ask, casually, "do you have rye?" Usually the answer is an enthusiastic "we sure do, hon!", and I will smile across the table, dickishly.
So it was inevitable that I would try to bake my own rye bread one day. Did you know that it is difficult to find rye flour in conventional grocery stores? Even our local old-timey grocery store didn't have it. Apparently it's a thing, according to the internet, so I ordered some on the dark-flour web. God god, I am on a roll today. Ok, I knead to stop. Seriously, knock the air out of me, someone.
I decided to make a fancy rye bread. A marble rye, with a twist. I found a recipe.
Things I did not know: part of the "rye" flavor comes from molasses. Also, the rich brown of a dark-colored rye comes from unsweetened cocoa powder! Will wonders never yeast? (Ouch, that one even hurt me...)
If i had to guess what went wrong with this bread, it would be that the yeast was slowed down by all the other crap in the dough from the outset. I think I'd let the yeast come more to life before mixing up the dough if I had to do this all over again. I'm sure I could get caraway troubleshooting this recipe. Is it worth it? Let me work it. The dough, that is.