Coconut Chiffon Cake!

Friday, August 21, 2020

Months ago, in a bleary haze,
In a late-night/early-morning daddy daze,
I saw a cake on a cake website,
And felt that I had seen the light.

It appeared like a cloud, like an angel at dawn,
Billowing coconut, cream, and chiffon.
Someday I shall make it, I said to myself,
And I filed it away on my mind's dusty shelf.

Until the day came, 'twas a hot one in August,
Goddammit there's nothing that rhymes with you, August!
I embarked on a fabulous cake-making quest,
And I thought to myself, Jordan, surely, you jest!

You don't even really like coconut, do you?
So why are the coconut gods speaking through you?
And I said to myself, self, somethings can't be explained,
Just let it happen, don't be such a pain.

Don't be a skeptic, a cynic, a grouch!
Just shake some more coconut out of that pouch!
Stick to the recipe, don't embrace innovation,
Don't get in the way of divine revelation!

So I stacked my fair sponges, with filling be-twixt,
I spackled and smeared, the rough edges I fixed.
I assembled a tower and it leaned not a smidge!
And I left it to chill overnight in the fridge.

In the morning I woke and went back to the kitchen,
Without any hesitance, meekness, or bitchin'.
Determined to execute baking perfection,
I bravely continued to mold my confection.

With an ever-so-delicate flick of my wrist,
The top of my cake, the rich frosting did kiss!
It went on like a dream, like a gossamer frock,
And I prayed I'd not clumsily down my cake knock.

Once the fair frosting foundation was laid,
(as smoothly as our local streets have been paved),
I knew it was time for the final component.
The ultimate, sugary coconut moment.

Then magically, there it was, shaggy and grand,
Like a creature I'd summoned from coconut land.
To eat it, I suddenly didn't feel ready,
Looking seemingly fit for a wedding of yeti.

What had I wrought, out of flour and eggs?
A sentient beast? With a question to beg?
I'd toiled, I'd sweat, said "why, god?" and "tarnation!",
And now I'm supposed to devour my creation?

I said to myself, no I shan't, I refuse!
To let go, my sweet cake, you, I can't bear to lose!
From the heavens you came, and I thought, wait, what if?
You could live as an infinite internet gif?!

< newer | older >

Index:

Friday, August 21, 2020 Coconut Chiffon Cake!

Sunday, August 2, 2020 Zwee-kini coop-cac!

Saturday, July 11, 2020 Lemon M'rang Pie!

Friday, February 28, 2020 Montreal-style bagels!

Saturday, January 18, 2020 Kugelhopf!

Sunday, November 24, 2019 Rye oh Rye... do I even try?

Wednesday, December 27, 2017 Cinnamon Rolls?!

< back
(c) Jordan Price. All Rights Reserved. Terms and Conditions: By using this site, you agree that our timeline was befouled when Gladiator won best picture over Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon on March 25, 2001 and that we are just waiting for Captain Janeway to fix it. Enjoy, friends! rss