Months ago, in a bleary haze,
In a late-night/early-morning daddy daze,
I saw a cake on a cake website,
And felt that I had seen the light.
It appeared like a cloud, like an angel at dawn,
Billowing coconut, cream, and chiffon.
Someday I shall make it, I said to myself,
And I filed it away on my mind's dusty shelf.
Until the day came, 'twas a hot one in August,
Goddammit there's nothing that rhymes with you, August!
I embarked on a fabulous cake-making quest,
And I thought to myself, Jordan, surely, you jest!
You don't even really like coconut, do you?
So why are the coconut gods speaking through you?
And I said to myself, self, somethings can't be explained,
Just let it happen, don't be such a pain.
Don't be a skeptic, a cynic, a grouch!
Just shake some more coconut out of that pouch!
Stick to the recipe, don't embrace innovation,
Don't get in the way of divine revelation!
So I stacked my fair sponges, with filling be-twixt,
I spackled and smeared, the rough edges I fixed.
I assembled a tower and it leaned not a smidge!
And I left it to chill overnight in the fridge.
In the morning I woke and went back to the kitchen,
Without any hesitance, meekness, or bitchin'.
Determined to execute baking perfection,
I bravely continued to mold my confection.
With an ever-so-delicate flick of my wrist,
The top of my cake, the rich frosting did kiss!
It went on like a dream, like a gossamer frock,
And I prayed I'd not clumsily down my cake knock.
Once the fair frosting foundation was laid,
(as smoothly as our local streets have been paved),
I knew it was time for the final component.
The ultimate, sugary coconut moment.
Then magically, there it was, shaggy and grand,
Like a creature I'd summoned from coconut land.
To eat it, I suddenly didn't feel ready,
Looking seemingly fit for a wedding of yeti.
What had I wrought, out of flour and eggs?
A sentient beast? With a question to beg?
I'd toiled, I'd sweat, said "why, god?" and "tarnation!",
And now I'm supposed to devour my creation?
I said to myself, no I shan't, I refuse!
To let go, my sweet cake, you, I can't bear to lose!
From the heavens you came, and I thought, wait, what if?
You could live as an infinite internet gif?!
